Hello, I’m Alex. Until I was 39 I had never ejaculated inside a woman. Now it’s one of my most enjoyable pastimes .

Although that opening sounds like it might have come straight out of a 12 step meeting, it means I can imagine only too easily the impact your retarded ejaculation is having on you. That’s why I’m going to tell you a bit about the program that helped me get over my own retarded ejaculation and how it enabled me to enjoy sex normally. The program is written by an experienced sex therapist called Rod Phillips, and it’s available online. If you want to go straight to this program for curing retarded / delayed ejaculation, simply click here.

So: where to start? First things first. Retarded ejaculation is much more common than you might expect, but as far as I know, this is the only treatment program available online for use at home: it’s called “Men Come First”, and is described - by its author – as ”a powerful and effective self-help cure for retarded / delayed ejaculation.” (He uses those terms interchangeably.)

When I used Rod’s program to cure my own retarded ejaculation, I spoke to him several times, and I think he’s a friendly guy with deep insight into male sexual psychology. He trained for four years at the Manchester Institute For Psychotherapy and has since worked with groups of men in the UK and America on sexual issues. Best thing about him as far as I’m concerned? He was always available by email to support me while I worked through his program. Still, I have to say some of the things he proposes for guys with retarded ejaculation are a bit off the wall, but hey, they do seem to work. (He claims a success rate of 96%. And it certainly worked for me.)

So what’s it all about? Logically enough, Rod starts by explaining why delayed / retarded ejaculation develops. It’s important to rule out any possible physical causes, such as drugs (prescription or otherwise), low testosterone levels, and harsh masturbation techniques. In general that’s easy to do, so you’ll know pretty much straight away what causes your ejaculation problems. Oftentimes, the cause is emotional or has something to do with a guy’s relationship. The interesting thing is that even if the cause is emotional – let’s say, for example, shame or guilt about sex – it’s not necessary to delve deep into your mind with therapy to cure the problem (for which you, like me, are probably very grateful!).

I think I’ve got it right if I say that some typical things which cause retarded ejaculation are: (1) not being particularly aroused during sex, and maybe not even knowing this, but still having a hard erection; (2) feeling resentful because there are too many expectations being put on you during sex, such as having to satisfy the woman or do all the work; (3) simply preferring sex with yourself to sex with a partner.

Rod covers many more possible causes of retarded ejaculation (RE), but as I said before, his emphasis is on finding ways to ejaculate easily and naturally rather than delving deep into the causes. (If you can’t ejaculate and you’d like to find out more about the cure right now, just click here.)

When he moves on to treatment, the first thing he does is to explain how RE was originally treated – with hard masturbation by the man or his partner outside the partner’s vagina, and then rapid insertion just before ejaculation. He dismisses this pretty quickly as any kind of useful treatment. Much better, he says, is the more sensitive approach of getting in tune with your body and learning how to get much more aroused before and during sex. That way, you get to your natural point of ejaculation much more comfortably.  

There are plenty of strategies and techniques for overcoming retarded ejaculation in Rod’s 50 page eBook. I especially like the way he suggests taking the pressure to ejaculate off yourself by simply aiming for comfortable physical intimacy with your partner before you go for the massive orgasm…..and the way he explained about the importance of being physically aroused in the body, rather than just relying on fantasy to get erect, really struck a chord with me – I used to be a major fantasy merchant until I learned how to “stay in the moment” during sex!

You’ll have gathered that I’m a fan of this program by now. And well I might be, since I’m having the time of my life sexually – it makes me stop and think in astonishment that I’ve gone from being completely unable to ejaculate during intercourse to enjoying sex with – ermmm, shall we say, a number of girlfriends - now. It’s the best time of my life, and I have to say I feel like a really powerful man because of it. It’s improved my self-esteem enormously.

Having said all of that, nothing’s perfect. As far as this program is concerned, I think he does go on a bit too much about relationship issues and how to solve them. Let’s face it, we’re all more interested in the treatment, we all want to come normally. Exactly half of the 5o (densely written – there’s no fluff) pages are about the causes of retarded ejaculation – including what I think is the probably very uncommon condition of penile insensitivity and how you might deal with that – and half are about the treatment. He sets out a detailed program of treatment exercises, week by week, and there’s no question that he covers all the ground.

And just for the icing on the cake, he’s included pages and pages of information on sexual anatomy, sex positions, how to achieve simultaneous orgasm, as well as hundreds of sex tips, tricks and techniques to improve your sex life – so you can make up for lost time, I suppose! LOL!

Will it work for you? Who knows. I certainly don’t, but what I can tell you is that this is far and away the best information on the inability to ejaculate on the internet. Judging by what I’ve seen, I don’t think he’s left anything out! If you can’t ejaculate, and you do decide to try this treatment out, take note of the fact he’s offering a money back guarantee, so it’s risk free. I’d also be very interested to hear from you so I can add your comments to this page. You can get the treatment for retarded ejaculation here, and you can email me on alexmblogs@gmail.com

All the best,

Alex M.

One thing’s for sure: if you have retarded ejaculation, in other words if you have difficulty reaching orgasm ejaculating during intercourse, you’ll probably be looking for a cure that works and can help you to have sex normally.

So you might be pleased to know that a qualified sex therapist, who’s spent twelve years helping men to overcome retarded ejaculation has written a treatment program based on all his accumulated experience and knowledge. You can discover more about his retarded ejaculation treatment program here. It has a success rate of around 96% – so it’s almost certain to help you overcome the difficulty you may have in ejaculating. Good luck with it!

It’s a real challenge to a man’s sexual self-esteem if he’s experiencing any delay in his ejaculation – or if he can’t come at all. And you might have despaired of ever finding a solution to retarded or delayed ejaculation (these two terms mean the same thing)…. and gone on struggling during intercourse with a partner who may be frustrated, getting sore, and possibly even bored with the length of time for which your lovemaking continues.

How do I know? Well….read my next post to find out!

For a condition that is thought to be relatively uncommon, retarded ejaculation – sometimes shortened to RE – certainly causes more than its fair share of distress, low sexual self-esteem, anxiety and frustration. (It’s also called delayed ejaculation, or DE for short, and I’m going to use these terms interchangeably.)

I know – because I’ve been there - that when a man in a relationship experiences difficulty reaching climax and being unable to ejaculate – or “come” – both his sexual relationship and his wider relationship with his partner is going to be negatively affected. Like my own partner, many women find it hard to understand why a man experiences such a thing as delayed ejaculation and an inability to ejaculate, and come to the conclusion that it’s their fault, that they must be unattractive or sexually unappealing. However, as we shall see, the origin of retarded ejaculation is not so simple.

Definition Of Retarded Ejaculation

If you’re a man suffering from retarded ejaculation, you’re not likely to be worried about the formal definition, since you’ll know you’ve got it, but I need to get some resentment out of my system! The medical profession regard being unable to ejaculate during intercourse as a purely medical condition, and they seem to forget the human consequences of – imagine it- not being able to come during sex.

Because retarded or delayed ejaculation hasn’t had much attention until recently, there isn’t actually a very clear definition, but the manual which defines sexual problems (known as the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual or DSM IV) probably includes most of the characteristics of DE in the following definition: Retarded ejaculation is the persistent or recurrent delay in, or complete absence of, orgasm – and therefore presumably ejaculation – after a normal period of sexual excitement which should be sufficient to sexually arouse a man to the point of orgasm and ejaculation. I guess that for any man reading this, I don’t need to add that  retarded ejaculation usually causes considerable distress or interpersonal difficulty in a relationship.

Here’s what I know about retarded ejaculation…..from a medical point of view! (Not that I’m a doctor, just a man who used to have trouble ejaculating. And I want you to enjoy sex just as much as I’m now enjoying it, having cured myself. With a little help from my friends, of course. You can check out exactly what I mean by that help here.)

There are two types of retarded ejaculation: lifelong or acquired. And there is another sub-classification: RE can be either “generalised” (in which case it occurs with every sexual partner) or “specific” (in which case it only happens with particular partners). To complicate the definition and understanding of retarded ejaculation even more, it turns out that many men who have retarded or delayed ejaculation can actually masturbate to orgasm quite successfully, while some men who have difficulty ejaculating during sex can’t easily ejaculate during masturbation either.

One relevant fact is that many men who grew up using a hard and forceful method of masturbation during their adolescent years may find it difficult to reach orgasm and ejaculate during intercourse simply because there isn’t enough friction during partner sex to stimulate them adequately. It seems that to some degree, delayed ejaculation can be a learned or conditioned reponse to masturbatory habits in adolescence. But this doesn’t explain every case: relationship issues and emotional factors play their part too.

It’s not too surprising that men who have retarded ejaculation say they have intercourse much less often than men who have no difficulty reaching the point of ejaculation. And because it’s a condition that really impacts on a man’s self-respect, men with delayed ejaculation tend to say they have more relationship issues, more anxiety, and indeed even more general health issues than other men.

One especially noticeable characteristic of delayed ejaculation is that men who have it usually say that they have hard and long lasting erections, but that they feel very low levels of sexual arousal.

Frequency Of Retarded Ejaculation

Ejaculatory difficulties like delayed ejaculation have always been thought of as very uncommon, only occurring in about 3% of the general population. The reality, as any therapist will tell you (and indeed one did tell me) is that difficulties with reaching climax during sex are a problem for more like 10% of men. Retarded ejaculation, in fact, is as common a sexual dysfunction as are erection problems.

On the next page of the site, I’ll have a quick look at the causes of retarded ejaculation might be. And here, I’ll say a bit about delayed ejaculation treatment: treatment of delayed ejaculation.